I wish I know what I want in my life. I hate being pushed to do something I really don’t want, but I always let it happen. For three years, I feel like I’m nothing. It is because I do what they want me to do, not what I want. Being controlled for so long, I feel the feeling of being dead.
I wish I have the courage, the strength, the confidence that I need to go on with my life and make it as perfect as what I see in movies. I like to think that these things that I need are hidden inside of me, and I just have to dig deeper. But each day that passes by, feels like I’m going down and nowhere. Each day, I’m becoming more afraid about what life has to offer, and afraid of people around me.
I wish I know where to start, but the problem is I always keep coming back and be no one. I can’t finish something and I don’t know why. I can’t even make a plan for a year. I don’t have a plan for myself anymore.
I wish I can be the girl I was once again – full of dreams, full of hopes.
Where did my old self go? Where are the dreams? Where are the plans? And the answer is – I do not know!
I want to know where to start. Right now, I don’t know what else to say. I want to try every opportunity to find out what I really want, but they’re blocking my way. Yeah! They – the what we so called “FAMILY”. I am tired of what’s happening in my life and still they don’t listen. I want to let it all out, but when I do, it is useless! That’s why I’m typing it all down here.
And hey! There’s nothing going on with my life, I am stuck!
I wish God can read this blog of mine. I’m sure God knows what I want, and I wish that He would enlighten my mind to figure it all out. I wish He’ll send me my Guardian Angel to help me because no one bothers to listen and talk to me.
And so, I said it all! All my wishes! How sad can life be in just one snap?